Still Think I Talk TOO Much

This is actually quite odd for me. If you read my previous post, it is somewhat unnatural. While I'm happy that I have people to talk to, I feel like I blab on and on. I used to write more. Maybe I'm talking so much that I have nothing left to write.

Writing is the processing of thought, so if I'm spending more time verbally processing with people lately, then I have less to process in writing. Why did this happen? I wonder if I just needed people to understand me, so in order to ensure that I'm understood, I process more conversationally.

How is this working for me you ask? Good, mostly. But I'm concerned that I'm not fully processing some of my thoughts and feelings. In order to be completely healthy, I wonder if I need to write more. Sounds simple, but it's not. I'm thinking that there might be a level of avoidance. Avoidance of feelings, I avoid uncomfortable feelings. I hate feeling out of control of my emotions, even alone. Extreme sadness or angry are not feelings I want to deal with.

Pressure cooker? Maybe. Somedays it seeps out slow. So I suppose I'm in a situation where I need to pick my pain. Funny, how mammals learn by pain. Pain helps people to be motivated to change. But how do you learn to pick the lesser pain or healthier pain? I guess that's what separates us from the animals.