Who's Your Daddy?
A friend of mine and I made up this inside joke where we would say, "Who's your daddy?" when we thought someone said something unbelievable or just outright untrue. Our little joke was based on the scripture " You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies." (John 8:44 NKJV emphasis added) Often part of the pain that we feel when our feelings are hurt is because we believe the lies.
For example, when we are rejected by a love interest, when we don't get the job, or when we don't make the grade, we analyze what we could have done differently. And rightfully so to a certain extent. Situations that possess more seriousness like when spouses or children are abused, children are victims of divorce, or a child is bullied or picked on, they also analyze and speculate what they think they did wrong. This is where the lies come in. I don't know if society secretly whispers subtle lies in cases where a father believes he's a failure because he doesn't make enough money, or when a woman blames herself for being assaulted because of something she wore, but they are still lies. These are difficult to disbelieve because there are so many others we encounter that perpetuate this short-sided nonsense. How can a person heal if the lies continually poison and kill their will to live?
Not too long ago, I visited www.emale.org. This is a men's ministry website that has a page- "Men's Toolbox" with a link titled "Nine Steps to Dealing With Pain." Here are the steps that relate to this topic: 1. Allow ourselves to feel full weight of pain. (For a man I find this especially difficult) 7. Reject the lies that I believed that came out of the pain. 8. Replace the lies with specific truth. Steps seven and eight are inseparable. If you recognize the lie, you have to replace it with the truth. If you don't, well, have you ever met someone who's rejected everything? They are on a road with even more pain. They don't believe in an absolute truth. Have you ever heard the sentiment if it's true for you, then it's true. There has got to be some laws and absolutes or things get chaotic. John 17:17 says that, "...Your [God's] word is truth." So if we recognize (the lie is usually the one of the sources of the pain) and throw out the lies that we aren't good enough, that we caused our own pain, or that we deserved the abuse, then what truths can we replace those lies with?
You can think of this step as finding your daddy. Let go of the lies, because that devil isn't your daddy. The truth is that we have value. For God so loved us, that He gave His only Son. (John 3:16) In Romans 5:5, TLB it says, "Then, when that happens, we are able to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love." Recently, I watched the movie "Daddy's Little Girls." When all seems lost, the protagonist fights, legally and physically, for his daughters. The plot is fairly simple and predictable, but I still found myself routing for the daddy. Fists clenched, feigning punches at the screen, and routing for all those in pain, I'm hoping the hurting find the truth, and break free from the lies. Who's your daddy?
For example, when we are rejected by a love interest, when we don't get the job, or when we don't make the grade, we analyze what we could have done differently. And rightfully so to a certain extent. Situations that possess more seriousness like when spouses or children are abused, children are victims of divorce, or a child is bullied or picked on, they also analyze and speculate what they think they did wrong. This is where the lies come in. I don't know if society secretly whispers subtle lies in cases where a father believes he's a failure because he doesn't make enough money, or when a woman blames herself for being assaulted because of something she wore, but they are still lies. These are difficult to disbelieve because there are so many others we encounter that perpetuate this short-sided nonsense. How can a person heal if the lies continually poison and kill their will to live?
Not too long ago, I visited www.emale.org. This is a men's ministry website that has a page- "Men's Toolbox" with a link titled "Nine Steps to Dealing With Pain." Here are the steps that relate to this topic: 1. Allow ourselves to feel full weight of pain. (For a man I find this especially difficult) 7. Reject the lies that I believed that came out of the pain. 8. Replace the lies with specific truth. Steps seven and eight are inseparable. If you recognize the lie, you have to replace it with the truth. If you don't, well, have you ever met someone who's rejected everything? They are on a road with even more pain. They don't believe in an absolute truth. Have you ever heard the sentiment if it's true for you, then it's true. There has got to be some laws and absolutes or things get chaotic. John 17:17 says that, "...Your [God's] word is truth." So if we recognize (the lie is usually the one of the sources of the pain) and throw out the lies that we aren't good enough, that we caused our own pain, or that we deserved the abuse, then what truths can we replace those lies with?
You can think of this step as finding your daddy. Let go of the lies, because that devil isn't your daddy. The truth is that we have value. For God so loved us, that He gave His only Son. (John 3:16) In Romans 5:5, TLB it says, "Then, when that happens, we are able to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love." Recently, I watched the movie "Daddy's Little Girls." When all seems lost, the protagonist fights, legally and physically, for his daughters. The plot is fairly simple and predictable, but I still found myself routing for the daddy. Fists clenched, feigning punches at the screen, and routing for all those in pain, I'm hoping the hurting find the truth, and break free from the lies. Who's your daddy?
Labels: dealing with pain, lies
posted by Reyhan at
3:07 PM
1 Comments:
I LIKE THAT,"WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" I'M GONNA HAVE TO USE THAT! HAAAA:) IT IS IMMENSELY TRUE HOW THE DEVIL LIES, AND "NEVER" BACKS OFF. AND I LIKE THE LINK TO THE MEN'S MINISTRY SITE (I'll have to share it with David). IT IS IMPORTANT TO FEEL YOUR PAIN FULLY, THEN THERE IS NO LEFT OVERS ONCE THE HEALING BEGINS. SET BACKS? MAYBE! BUT NOT LEFTOVERS. AND I NEEDED TO KNOW THAT, SO THAT I CAN LEARN TO LIVE BY THAT, AND APPLY IT NOW. TO SHAKE THE DEVIL OFF, IT IS IMPORTANT TO REMIND HIM WHO THE REAL "DADDY" IS! AND THAT IS GOD, "HE'S" THE CREATOR OF MANKIND. AND THE TRUTH IS THE LIGHT. GOD IS OUR FATHER, AND THE LIGHT IS IN HIM, TO LET US KNOW THAT HE DOESN'T DISTINGUISH US BY OUR MISTAKES, BUT BY CARRYING HIS NAME. THE SAME WAY WE ALL HAVE OUR EARTHLY FATHER'S LAST NAMES, OR THE ONES WHO RAISE US ACCORDING TO GOD'S PURPOSES, IS THE SAME WAY GOD NAMES, AND KNOWS HIS PEOPLE, AND WE KNOW HIM. EVEN THE SEEMINGLY FATHERLESS AMONGST US. LUV YO CUZ, DEMETRIA
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